fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
