Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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