omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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