Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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