If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
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