happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
