Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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