Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
