What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
