There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
