it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
