dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize