My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize