Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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