Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
