I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
