8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
