Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
