Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
