WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
