u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Randomize