He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
