am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
