Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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