You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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