Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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