Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
