if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
