I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
