I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
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