Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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