Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
The air taste purple.
Randomize
