Nicole vs. Life
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
My balls are so social today.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just gargled with NyQuil
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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