Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
