i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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