bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
