Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
