I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
