It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
