Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So. Much. Porn.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
