I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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