after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
