better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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