one two three fourrrrnication!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
