i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
