I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
