hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and she was petting her beer can
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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