carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
