I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
