do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
honey bunches of taint.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
