Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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