Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
