I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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