Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
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