he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
