Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
