I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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