My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's blow job season.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
