That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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