just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize