I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I got inside last night via doggy door
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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