He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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