He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
