i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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