I think i peed on brittanys purse
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
