what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
